also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
