I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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