Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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