Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Jerry, you need to find god
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
