But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize