Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
