This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize