I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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