Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
