Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
