Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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