me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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