white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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