Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i dont even know how to be here
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
