why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
