I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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