why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
