We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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