Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
