Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
