Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
