i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
