I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
