Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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