Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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