do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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