She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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