Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
