never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
