Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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