I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
