He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
