Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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