i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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