i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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