i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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