marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it's like iHOP with fire
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize