I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
