What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
