Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
