help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
