I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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