Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
