super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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