Your mouth is God's brothel.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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