belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
