i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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