Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
