sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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