found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
