Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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