she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize