we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im holly from the hills drunk
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
