Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
