is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
