you traded sex for a burrito?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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