i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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