You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
