why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
