I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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