i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
