YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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