What a fucking waste of an outfit
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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