I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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