he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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