My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
