you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
