brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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