i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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